Ageism in Parenting

As a dad, I am required to have a consistent moral value and offer a supportive environment for my kids to grow.  Team up with mom well in enforcing the moral value and supportive environment is a silent proof to the kids that this is what is called a family.

Unfortunately, not all parents realise that their kids, no matter how young they are, understand and look to you for examples. No wonder if later on, you will be surprised knowing your kids do copy you A LOT - whether it is a good thing or a bad thing.

One problem parents always do is ageism.

What is ageism?

Ageism is a discrimination against one’s age. An example of ageism is underestimating someone for being young in age.
Source: http://www.knoltoday.com/society/2008/09/12/ageism-the-underrated-discrimination/

I often heard parents say, “He can’t understand that… he is too young.” - this is ageism and it is a huge mistake. Even when your child was in the womb, he or she knew and felt the surrounding environment.

“You can’t do that, you are too young.” “You know nothing about it, you are too young.”

The damaging effect of saying that will grow your kids into ‘a loser’ and be carried by your kids to adolescence.

So I recommend parents to keep motivating and talk to you children. Don’t worry if yours can’t understand not even a word from you - they can feel you. Let your kids grow to be a responsible and confident person by not talking down to yours.

Respect your kids, and they will respect you.

There are No Bad Kids - They are Only Being Active

I have heard that many parents complaining about their children behaviour.  They say, “My kids are bad - I can’t possible handle them!”

Well, parents - there are NO bad kids.  Your kids are only being active!

Parents, relax.  I know you overwhelmed by your kids, but rest assured that your kids are becoming bad persons if and only if you set a bad example to them! As long as you teach them well, the will grow as a good and well-mannered person.

How to handle my active kids

Active kids - like mine - are desiring for one thing - fulfillment of their need to be active. My little boy sleep well at night if he does a lot of activities during the day.

Well, of course parents can’t play with their children all day long - but there are certain games and activities that, in my experience, help your active children less aggressive.

The best activity, in my case, is playing catch and kicking around with a beach ball. Why a beach ball? First, it is ‘floaty’ - easier for my little boy to chase the ball around. Second, it can help my child’s motoric activity - bouncing the ball around need a bit more coordination than the regular ball.

The second best activity is the ‘Tag, you’re it’ game - this game will surely let your active child burns more energy. The caveat - it will also burn your energy

One tip - avoid getting the ball or any toys your children are playing with for your children. Let them take their own toys. Not trying to be lazy, but this way, your children will grow a sense of achievement, as well as more energy to burn!

One more thing - don’t forget to cool down when bed time approaches.

When done right, hopefully your kids are becoming ‘manageable’ and so do your days.

Kick the His and Hers Stereotyping in Parenting

To raise your children, you have got to kick the his and hers stereotyping - i.e. dad is working, mom is taking care of the kids. Team working is nice, but in not in that sense.

Today’s parenting need the full involvement of both mom and dad. Considering the broken value of marriage - coupled with the paranoia in anything related to it - raising children with positive moral values today is more important than ever.

Mom and dad have to take equal part in parenting.

Dads might say, “but I’m working! I have to earn money to feed my family. How can I work and taking care of the kids?”

I honour your dedication and work ethics. However, money is not all your family need! Yes, money can buy more things and open up more opportunities for your family, but showering your wife and kids with cash is not always what is best for them - they need your love and attention, as well as your leadership.

Raising kids together

Dads - you are the ‘backbone’ of your family. I don’t know about you, but I hate seeing dads protesting and demanding gender equality! Be a man and lead your family, will ya?

Dads - you have to work AND do your parenting duties - potty train your child, discipline your child, and have yourself ‘accessible’ anytime for your child. What makes dad a hero is for the ability to juggle work and parenting well.

So, kick the stereotyping and share parenting roles with your wife - It’s your full-time job anyway, being a dad!

How to Master the Work-Life Balance

Finally, I can write on this blog

Last week is really a hectic week - for a dad and a business owner. This blog is the victim of that busy-ness

Anyway, all things are relatively new to me: parenting, expecting, new businesses, and quality times.

Parenting - Ah, yes… the most important of all. I can’t have my little man ignored because I work long hours these days to set up my online businesses.

Expecting - Well, not troublesome for me, but it is a challenge for my wife… and that is, eventually, a challenge for me, too.

New businesses - the number one time stealer! If you were not careful, your business can turn you into a business ’slave’. Hey, your business should give you freedom, not the other way around!

Quality times - This includes quality times with your wife… and yourself. Make sure this is not neglected, or you may suffer the no-romance-for-couples-with-small-children syndrome.

Mastering the work-life balance is paramount in parenting today, because it’s far too often that families are often prioritised second to work/business - usually with the statement, “hey, if I didn’t work hard, how could I feed my family?”

How to master the work-life balance

So, how to master the work-life balance for entrepreneur-dad?

The answer is simple yet challenging to do.

I know you want to work hard for your family as your family counts on you. I want to do best for my family, too.

However, your wife and kids emotional welfare is more important than money itself. Although not all, I guess many wives and kids prefer for their hubbies and dads to work less and more quality times with the family.

Anyway, in my opinion, money WON’T buy happiness - it buys opportunities.

Dads - work hard, spend more quality time - happy days!

ps. I promise to write more often on this blog

How to Be THE Dad

I never thought myself to be one, until my little man was finally born.

Being a dad…

Ahhh - what a feeling.

Tired but proud, confused but optimist, and overwhelmed but happy dad.

After spending 18 months of my life parenting, I just realise that it takes more than just ability to be a dad - parenting needs passion.

The question is, are you passionate and take proud of your new role in the family - as a father of your child?

I decided to be more involved with my young family, bringing my role as a hubby and a dad come to life.

Instead of some dads that say, “Lucky me… when the baby is crying non-stop, I have to go to work!” I face the challenge of what-I-think-only-mom-could-do - bathe the baby, change the diapers, etc.

The wonder of work at home
Read the rest of this entry »

The Hello World Blog Post: A Bit About Me

This is my very first blog post. I guess a little background story would be nice - Do not worry, it is short!

As you might already read in the About Dad Journal page, the blog post you read here (and will read again in the future :D) is on my actual experience in parenting as a dad who works at home and run a business.

I’m a dad of one little man, and my wife and I are expecting our second child, due in November 08. Hopefully it’s all fine

This blog was born from a need - I seek for parenting information throughout the Net without much luck.

Yes, there are some resources that are useful, but most of them are either e-books sales pages or membership sites Forums are there, too, but they are good for asking questions, but not really good at sharing tips and tricks of parenting issues - how to do potty training, how to discipline, and other how-tos.

So, without further adieu, I present this blog for dads that are care enough to taking care their children day-to-day, not only on the weekend (like the so-called weekend dad) - No offense, weekend dad, but spending more TIME with your kids does help them growing up well

Do visit Dad Journal often, will ya?